Theresa May’s Tories pay £1.5 billion ransom to Loyalist extremists in return for fifteen minutes of infamy

June 26, 2017

Brexit looks a bit like this

Theresa May’s Zombie Tories have just paid a £1.5 billion ransom – £1 billion with £500 million on the side, if you believe the Tory media – to ensure the support of 10 Ulster DUP MPs. One reason the ‘deal’ took so long to finalise was that the Creationist, gay-hating, womens’ rights denying Clockwork Orangemen don’t work at the weekends on religious grounds. Their founder, the self-anointed ‘Rev. Dr.’ Ian Paisley made the preacher in ‘Night of the Hunter’ look positively benign before becoming Mr. Smiley after his mouth was stuffed with gold, so you never know, it might work.

Then again, it might not. I’ve always been wary of organisations with ‘Democratic’ in their title – the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) or Democratic Republic of (North) Korea spring immediately to mind. But that’s a side issue. Amongst other curiosities, the DUP played a strange role in Britain’s recent Tory Brexit campaign, allegedly acting as a conduit for dubious funding from Saudi Intelligence. 

As First Minister, DUP leader Arlene Foster recently presided over a £500 million ‘renewable energy subsidy’ scandal which led to the withdrawal of Sinn Fein from the power-sharing agreement and thus the breakup of the Northern Ireland Assembly. Having lost half a billion in public money, she might have been expected to resign, but that’s not how democracy works in Northern Ireland. Instead, Sinn Fein took its bat home and the province is by default, once again under direct rule from Westminster, which some Tories and other ‘democratic’ agencies in the UK and beyond might find to their liking. For the DUP, the future is Orange. Every day is July 12 and they are bossing the Tories. Democracy indeed.

But in the view of no less a (Tory grandee) figure than ‘Sir’ John Major, this grubby deal almost certainly breaches the terms of the Good Friday Agreement.

The New Tory Party logo

A peace settlement seen by the rest of the world as a model for de-escalating sectarian strife has been put at risk by Theresa May and her new best droogs. What chance has she, and the Tory party which led the UK into Brexit – got of securing an equitable exit for Britain. Having shown that they’re prepared to pay £1.5 billion for the votes of ten grandstanding Orange MPs, the EU negotiators must be radically revising their exit fee demands upwards as we speak.